Hey Drift, I'm going to rate your review for you. First of all, I love reading good reviews, I actually thought about doing it once but english is not my first language, making things a bit complicated sometimes as my vocabulary is not good enough to take on a job like that.
Anyway, the first half of your review, feels like a walkthrough, you give too much detail about the story and it gets tedious for many people. You have to remember that the majority of the people who are reading this are young and do not exactly enjoy reading too much. You could also, easily, get rid of the part where you talk about when you started playing Battlefield, cut it, just say that the game is better or worse than the previews and why, what has been added to the series and things like that.
Put it like this: What do they want to know about it? People want to know if it's better or as good as MW2 (Worth the buck). That is where you have to focus. That doesn't mean you only have to talk about multiplayer but, when you are writing about the story mode, you have to be more objective, how long to clock the game, variety in the missions (if you get to fly a plane, skydive, or whatever is there) because people will think: "Oh, you get to jump of a chopper in a mission and land in the battlefield? Damn that's cool!" By doing that you will grab peoples attention but not giving pointless details to your review.
You do this when you start talking about the sound for example. Every gun has a unique sound and bla bla bla. That's when it sounds like a review. When you rate it, it is pointless mentioning the achievements. They are just a bonus on every game, they don't make a game good or bad. Make sure you write about the graphics, sound, gameplay, replay value and (especially these days) multiplayer. These are the things you need to focus on and give as much detail as you can but being objective at the same time. You can reduce your review from 1.8k words to 1k and make it better. You have the tools, you are clearly a decent writer, and enjoy doing it, so keep it up and I hope you accept the criticism. If I thought you had no future, I wouldn't waste my time posting on this thread, but you have potential. Also, you are not writing for iGN like someone said before but it doesn't matter, write like a professional because CG is getting bigger and bigger and you should be proud of yourself for being in the review team. Avoid childish comments on your review like: "Wait, did I say that?" That just makes it look like any kid wrote it and people can't have that impression of you or they wont respect your reviews.
Well, I can tell the potential is there and I am sure you will just improve as you write for CG.
I will give this review a 7/10 and quite frankly, that is a very good start.
Keep it up.